The holidays, for most people, have special meaning.
Usually spent with family, we enjoy traditions passed on through the generations, and celebrate togetherness.
But this isn’t always the case. In a perfect world, there would be no situation that would keep us from being with our families during the holiday season.
Sadly, many people find themselves alone during this time of the year and are left wondering how they can still make it a special occasion.
Will you be alone these coming holidays?
In this guide, I share my coping strategies for remaining happy, even when separated from your family during the holidays.
Spending Holidays Without Family: Make a Plan
The key to success is to have a plan.
Ask yourself:
- What will make you feel better?
- What will make you feel worse?
- Would you be happier with a familiar routine?
- Do you want to try something new?
Decide what will make you feel the happiest and then design a plan around that.
For example:
Have you always enjoyed making others happy during the holiday? Then maybe you should volunteer at a homeless shelter or hospital.
Or maybe:You value traditions and don’t want anything to change. In this case, try to mimic the holidays as if your loved ones were there. Whether it’s familiar decorations or the smell of baking, make your routine the same as if your family were at home to celebrate with you.
Alone During the Holidays? How to Stay Positive
Staying positive may sound easy, but it takes a conscious effort.
If you can’t see your family during the holidays map out a plan for when you can see them and write it down on your calendar.
Let them know when you plan to visit by sending them a holiday card with a personal note.
If you don’t want to be alone, find yourself a group of people in your community to share the occasion with. Perhaps others will be alone too.
Sharing traditions with new people can be a positive and uplifting experience.
If you feel too sad to enjoy the company of others, I suggest going to the movies or indulging in a new book or hobby. Keep yourself busy.
Helping Children Cope With Parent Separation During the Holidays
Celebrating the holidays without family can be difficult for anyone, and especially so for children whose parents have recently separated.
How can you help your child enjoy the holidays with one parent not present?
First, explain why that parent isn’t there. Help them to understand that a separation means that holidays, and other special occasions, will be spent apart or on different days.
Let your child know when they can expect to see the other parent. It gives them something to look forward to and alleviates any anxiety over not knowing what to expect.
If it’s possible, try to arrange a phone call or video chat to connect during the important times, like opening gifts, or singing carols.
You could also take your children to the hospital or soup kitchen to teach them that there are worse situations, and that it’s okay to be sad, but that they should still be grateful.
Most of all, talk to your children about their feelings. Let them know it’s okay that they feel upset or disappointed and ask them if there’s a way that you could make it “better” for them.
Learning to enjoy the holidays after a separation may not happen in the first year. Be patient with your children, and allow them time to grieve the loss.
Christmas Without Your Children: Make it About You
Is this your first Christmas without your children? Sometimes, children don’t come back home during school holidays, or they move to another state with their own families.
Whatever the reason, your first Christmas without your kids may not seem worth the celebration and effort.
Think about what would be special to you. Is there a way you can include your kids from afar?
If, for any reason, you are not able to connect with your children over the holidays then find a way to make the season all about you.
If you have a partner, think about a romantic getaway.
If you’re alone, plan a day trip to the spa for relaxation.
Or maybe you’d like to spend the holidays with extended family, like nieces and nephews.
Joy can be found in many ways, find the way that works for you.
You’re Not Alone
No matter what you decide to do to make your holidays away from family special, remember that you are not alone.
Take comfort in the people around you. Hold on to traditions — or start new ones.
There is no right or wrong way to get through the holidays alone, so whatever you decide, make sure that it’s something that will fill your heart with joy.
