As mothers, we feel a lot of pressure to be everything to everyone. Mothers seem to be able to make even the impossible happen.
But at what cost?
Often, mothers are running themselves ragged trying to keep up with the demands of family, work, and social obligations that they forget to take care of themselves.
I’m here to tell you something, moms: you must take good care of yourself, or you won’t have the energy to keep up with life’s commitments.
Below I’ve shared my top five tips to help you, and all mothers, focus on self-care as much as you focus on everything else you do.
How to Take Care of Yourself First and Why it Matters
Being a mother is one of the most rewarding, yet difficult jobs on the planet.
However, many moms don’t recognize the importance of this role as a full-time job, and just like any other professional you deserve training, breaks, and support.
So why is it so hard for mothers to stop and take care of themselves?
It could be the fear of failure. Or maybe compensating for what was missing in their own childhood.
Whatever it is, if moms don’t take care of themselves they run the risk of burn-out.
And for anyone who has felt the effects of this level of fatigue, they know it’s not possible to give all of yourself to anything.
So, remember to take care of yourself, so that you can continue to properly take care of everyone and everything else that you need to.
How to Take Care of Yourself Tip #1: Fill Yourself Up
No mother can give 100 percent of herself 100 percent of the time to her children or her partner. It’s just not possible.
Take the time you need to remember what made you who you were before marriage and kids. Think about what you need emotionally and physically to live a full life.
“Filling yourself up” can involve activities, such as:
- Focusing on your career
- Volunteering for a cause that is meaningful to you
- Taking classes
- Joining a book club
- Hiking or walking
- Going to the gym
- Hiding under the covers and reading a book
- A trip to the spa
Whatever you need, find these ways to take care of yourself and “fill yourself up” emotionally, mentally, and physically so that you can return to your children and partner refreshed and ready to give your all.
How to Take Care of Yourself Tip #2: Find Support
Mothering can sometimes feel like an isolating experience, so it’s important to find a way to connect to others in good times and in bad.
Find a support network. This could include family, friends, neighbors, or even professionals.
You need people with whom you can be honest and with whom you can share your feelings.
Local or anonymous online mothers groups can offer a sense of community and allow you to meet other mothers who share your feelings.
These connections will help you get through tough times and remind you that you are not alone.
How to Take Care of Yourself Tip #3: Take Alone Time
Taking alone time may seem like an impossible task, but you need this time to re-energize.
Find a babysitter, hire a nanny, or barter babysitting hours with friends. Take an hour away from your children or partner, and find something that you can do for yourself.
Taking consistent time away from your children—even for just a few minutes—to relax and recharge yourself, will be beneficial to both you, and your family.
During your alone time, don’t think about what you have “to do”, but rather focus on what you “have done.”
Use this alone time to take good care of yourself and just give yourself a short break from what you “need to do.”
Mothering is a full-time job and like all jobs, you need regular breaks. So take them in any way that you can get them.
How to Take Care of Yourself Tip #4: Don’t Compare Yourself to Other Mothers
While it may be hard to believe, you are the best mother to your children.
You should never compare yourself to other moms. It doesn’t matter which moms can work full-time or stay at home and run a “perfect” household.
Your children do not care what other moms can manage or complete, they only care about you.
So, put on your blinders to those “other moms” so that you can focus on what you do, rather than what you don’t do compared to others.
It’s okay to listen to the advice of others—but listen to your gut and believe in yourself—only you know what’s best for your children.
And know that your kids already think you’re the best mom.
How to Take Care of Yourself Tip #5: Take it One Day at a Time
Remember to slow things down once in a while. Take it one day at a time.
We’ve all heard the old saying, “life is too short.”
Well, it is.
What may be terrible today could be gone tomorrow. Save your energy for what truly matters.
Pick your battles wisely and save your energy for important issues.
Sometimes mothers can be burdened with rules, schedules, and structure. Instead, just aim to do the best you can one day at a time.
Ease the pressure on yourself and focus on the positives of the day.
Be Patient With Yourself
Now that you know how to take better care of yourself, allow yourself time to get into the groove of self-care.
It’s easy to slip back into old habits, but know that you deserve time to yourself, just as much as your children deserve the time they get to spend with you.
